we had a baby. actually, i’m the one who gave birth. however, i hesitate to share the whole story at this moment, because what i really want to talk about is being a parent.
parenting requires a massive amount of unselfishness and complete unconditional love. basically, everything you have. everything. if i thought i was an unselfish or completely loving person before, i was entirely wrong.
shouldn’t i have been subjected to a test to make sure i could really handle being a parent? i guess that’s really not how the world works. the hospital actually lets you leave with a new, tiny helpless being and you’re responsible. the fate of this little person is completely in your hands. and you figure it out. you grow, you adapt, you determine what works today knowing that it might not work tomorrow. yes, being a parent requires unselfishness, the ability to look beyond the moments where your child has been screaming for 2 hours, complete love and acceptance, and a willingness to learn and be taught by the person you’ve just added to your family.
parenting is hard…and i’ve been told it only gets more challenging as the child ages! thankfully, God’s grace is big enough. He can handle every little thing, every thought we have, every challenge we face. what a comfort that brings!
since being a new parent and being 12 weeks into this whole thing, here are some highlights:
biggest challenge: the realization that you are absolutely out of control-i cannot make my daughter eat, sleep, poop, not be fussy. i can help to facilitate growth and environments where these things can happen, however i cannot actually make her do them. the controlling side of my personality hates this, however i’m not sure what on earth ever convinced me that i could actually control another person.
biggest joy: seeing this little person grow and change. she is different every day! she is 12 weeks as i type this and i just lamented to matt that i’m sad she isn’t small anymore. she is growing, loving to interact with us, and such a sweet little girl.
biggest change: not being able to do what i want to do when i want to do it-i enjoy my coffee all at one sitting while reading a book or my blogs instead of heated up three times during the course of the morning and catching 5 minutes of reading my blogs here and there.
biggest similarity: i’m still me. i’m still myself, just with the added facet in the role of mother. i’ve been told that having a child changes people completely…so far, that hasn’t been true. i’m still myself, my logic, silliness, love of reading, and desire to grow are all still in tact. yes, i have a new perspective as a mom, but to those who know me, didn’t i already possess some nurturing/mothering traits already?
biggest success (thus far): nighttime routine that everyone loves. baby takes a bath, eats, and goes down to sleep immediately. i recognize this is none of my doing, as in, i’m not the one making her sleep. but, it is awesome to have those things all finished by about 8:30-8:45p on nights we are at home during that time.
biggest failure: cloth diapering (for now). i really wanted to cloth diaper, like, really wanted to. but, with our current status as new parents, baby girl being a bit small yet, and not everyone being as excited about it, we’re holding off.