big picture, part 2

i know that last time i wrote about the “big picture”. welcome to “big picture, part 2” where i want to say that it is really hard to have that perspective all the time.

sometimes, you feel kicked in the stomach by events, people, circumstances beyond your control and it is hard to consider in the moment that there even is a big picture. sometimes you feel so hurt, raw, angry, and discouraged that it feels impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel and the ending.

i go back and forth, sometimes hourly between asking God to give me a “big picture” view and feeling discouraged, especially in my work. i can handle the construction (it’s been a fun time listening to the circular saw), and I can handle the managing of 5 tasks at a time. what i am challenged with is dealing with co-workers. and i don’t even want to blanket statement say that all are difficult, but it’s those precious handful few that can make life downright miserable.

i get it, i’m young. i get it, sometimes I’m not in the best mood. i get it, i make mistakes. but, to be hounded by people repeatedly, to be talked down to, and for my time, effort, and work area to be disrespected and ignored i do sometimes have a hard time maintaining the “big picture”  mindset.

now, i’m not really here to vent about my job. i’m here to ask why is it hard to keep the “big picture” perspective? it is infuriating to be reminded of truths to so easily forget them a few minutes later. why are humans like that? we are easily wounded and negative and get caught up in insignificant details of life that we lose sight of the positive around us and the “big picture”. it is a fight to stay positive, to overcome hurdles of frustration and to not get bogged down in the mire. it is a fight I’m trying to fight, and every minute asking God to help me.


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