Over the past two months a lot has happened in our lives that we were not expecting. We haven’t shared a lot about it as it seemed we were never sure what was going on or about to happen. It almost seems like it has been one thing after another, one piece of bad news or possibilities after another. During this time, as Rachel went through all of this, and continues to do so, I have been so amazed at her faith and her strength. I write this not to boast about how great my wife is, but instead to tell her how much of a hero she is to me.
As she has faced daily bouts of dizziness, pain in her back, neck and arms, tremors, weakness, chest pain, headaches and various other issues; I have seen her handle this with such strength. She has dealt with doctors and nurses who have treated her poorly with grace and love. As the physicians have thrown out possibilities and put her through so many tests, she has endured and persevered. There were times when doctors were lost, not knowing what to do, trying to rule out possibilities, yet she clinged to hope.
But one of the most amazing things I saw was when things seemed so bleak on different occasions, she trusted God and was willing to accept what God put in front of her, even if it was something serious, crippling, debilitating and even life threatening. As hard as it was for me to accept, she showed me that if this is what God has called for us and this is His plan, than His will be done. No matter what the outcome. Our wants, desires, dreams, hopes and aspirations may be thrown out the door, but she trusted God and His provisions for the future.
As we have went through this plan B situation (frankly I think we are on plan E or F), God has worked on us both. But what I am thankful for is how He is teaching us both through this ordeal. Daily He teaches me through Rachel and her amazing attitude. I have seen her feeling absolutely miserable yet doing everything she can to please me and serve me. I have never seen a heart so full of love like hers. Even when she has felt as bad as possible, she has sucked it up so we can get out of the house to enjoy the different parts of Creation. In a recent outing to the city, the thing you may not know is that it was drizzly, we had to talk around 5 miles and she was not feeling well that day, yet she summoned the strength of God to do it. It wasn’t easy and yet there she was doing everything she could to shake it off so we could keep going. She will always be the first to point to God and I will ever appreciate her reliance and dependence on the one true Source. I am amazed that every day she greets me with a big smile and welcomes me home as I walk in the door even when she has felt completely awful.
I don’t know how she does it. Actually, I do and that is why I am so proud of her. It is also why she teaches me and is such an encouragement to me. Rachel will freely admit the only way she is getting through any of this is faith. Faith in the Almighty. Faith in a greater plan. Faith in the upper story and not getting lost in the hurt and pain of the right now. Faith in the prayers of many who have prayed and sacrificed their time for us.
I have seen my hero cling to faith and hope. I have seen my hero cling to truth. I have seen my hero be strong even when her body fails and Satan attacks. I have seen her hurt, but I have seen how she embraced the pain and use it for good.
We were never expecting this to happen but plan B’s never work that way. As our pain and struggles continue, we now have hope in her health. We owe it all to God. We are so thankful for how He provided. the only reason for any of the good is God alone. We are thankful and we praise Him and Him alone. He has provided so many different ways for Rachel’s health. This is our small way of saying thank you to God for all He has done during these times of trials. To God we praise.
The struggles will continue in other ways. The trials will keep coming. The attacks will not stop this side of heaven. But as I watch Rachel, my hero, she keeps fighting, keeps enduring, keeps persevering, keeps serving, keeps waiting, keeps hoping, keeps smiling, keeps faithful, keeps her eyes on who God is, and she keeps teaching me. I could never have asked for a better spouse, a better partner and a better friend. God has given me the woman of Proverbs 31.