since dating, being engaged, and married to matthew taylor i have never watched more nfl football in all my life. being from kc, there wasn’t much to be excited about with regard to football (sorry chiefs).

and also i usually talk during games. i usually have a running commentary of things i’m thinking about/questions i ask/concerns i have about plays, etc., but i think i’ve learned at least as much as i’ve watched. thankfully matt is very patient in explaining everything to me, and helping me to know more about it…like how the broncos always run on the first down.

well, yesterday when we were watching the 49ers/saints game (only the last quarter), i must have had some quality commentary material because matt suggested i write my commentary. this is either so that others can see what he puts up with, or because i do have some legitimately good material. also, writing my commentary will most likely keep me somewhat quiet during the game.

so, i’m going to attempt to write my notes about the second half of the packers/giants game. first let it be said that i have serious bias towards the packers. i just can’t stand that manning or his little wingman cruz. also, i couldn’t actually write during yesterday’s broncos/patriots game as i was too invested in the broncos and had to pay attention.

so, lets begin with it’s the 3rd quarter.

-first of all i’m mad at the score, i missed whatever hail mary play that happened before the half because i was making cookies.

-second of all, it is now 4 minutes into the half, the hail mary has passed, so let it go. also, i feel like announcers just wait for some wonderful play/person to talk about. i understand that they need to fill down time with something, but still. during the giants/cowboys game all the announcers talked about  how great victor cruz was. do you know how much that made me not like him? a whole lot.

-nice first down, number 80!

-10:28, aaron rodgers fumble,  ball recovered by the giants. dangit. poor aaron rodgers, he looks so disappointed with that fumble. i feel bad for him.

-matt says “i hate cowbells, they are one of the most annoying things at sporting events”.

-8:48 geez, number 83 for the packers has a lot of tattoos.

-i’ve decided that i’m not a fan of the giants uniforms today, they aren’t contrasting enough, the gray and white. plus, i’m just feeling like they have too many colors going on with the gray, white, red and blue.

-one thing i appreciate is that matt often records games, and then we usually try to stay behind the actual game time about 20 minutes so we can fast forward through the commercials. this is so smart because the commercials are all the same and they are usually dumb.

-7:54 offsides: penalty on the packers. it makes me mad that i can’t always see the penalties. i don’t always know what i’m looking for, but i’m getting better.

-6:06, good job mr. starks! that was a wonderful play. i clapped for you. did you see the intensity in his face during that replay?

-i think in general i prefer to see passing games, running plays are usually kind of boring to me because they sometimes just end up being a pile of guys at the line and i can’t tell where the ball is.

-ok, matt says an important part of the commentary is the conversations we having during games that don’t relate to games at all. we just spent about 5 minutes of game time doing just that. it all started with a commercials for the movie redtails, then i said duck tales, and then darkwing duck. and then i thought that they were pretty much the same thing. i was way off. there was only one episode that they crossed over, trust me, i looked it up on wikipedia. then i saw that a related article was on the mighty ducks and i started saying “quack, quack, quack…you know, mighty ducks…hockey”. to which matt replies “yes” and proceeds to laugh at me and shake his head.

-1:00 aaron rodgers has had to make a lot of first downs tonight, but at least he’s able to do them!

it’s the 4th quarter now

-i think we’re going to watch that new show by j.j. abrams called Alcatraz. we just saw a commercial for it and are intrigued.

-i hope #87 for the packers, his first name isn’t actually “jordy”

-13:00 and now we are eating a giant cookie to finish the game

-11:25 it seems to me like the announcers know a lot more about the giants players, for example, they have talked about manning, cruz, pierre-paule, jacobs, and some other guys too but all they can really talk about for the packers is aaron rodgers? they seem ill-prepared. also, we just finished the cookie.

-the other day when we were watching the 49ers/saints game, one of the announcers said “what a home run”. i think he forgot which sport he was supposed to be telling us about.

-8:29 manning sacked on the 3rd down! and tynes makes the field goal. dangit. matt says “that’s not good”

-6:53 daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang it! fumble and the giants get it at their 4 yard line. what a disappointing weekend.

-6:48 poop. giants score 30-13

-6:35 seriously, with this loss that is most likely coming, we don’t know who we want to go to the superbowl. for sure not the giants (because i’m sick of hearing about victor cruz), and for sure not the patriots (because i do not like tom brady and too many patriots fans were booing audibly for calls that were completely fair). that leaves us with the 49ers and ravens. well, who even likes the ravens first of all, so i guess we’re hoping the 49ers make it to the superbowl so we can at least watch and kind of care. if they don’t make it, maybe i’ll just do another running commentary, although most notes about both teams would be negative.

-5:20 annoying cowbells, i agree

-5:10 some football players were shoving each other. wasn’t it kind of wild last night to see the broncos and patriots have that little sideline scuffle? they were very upset with each other through most of the game, and there were a couple penalties because of it.

-4:46 ok, the packers just made it a 10 point game, it is now 30-20 giants

-4:37 i feel bad for aaron rogers, mainly because it isn’t that he hasn’t played well, of course, no he hasn’t played his best, but also a lot of his dudes have literally dropped the ball, or fumbled, or what have you and they just paint this picture of him being a total failure. its too bad really.

-3:30 ok, giants #44, that was a good play. and nice dodging of the packer dudes.

-3:06 i don’t think we’re going to win this one

-2:36 another giant touchdown. you know, at this point if i were a packer, i would want to go home. forget playing the last few minutes, there isn’t time to catch up. just end the torment.

-2:20 matt brings up a great point “well, at least they [the giants] deserve to win” too true.

-2:23 eww, packers #87 cut your hair, guy!

-2:07 get that stupid smug face off your face mr manning

-2:00 the packers look so tired, sorry boys!

-1:00 end the misery already

-0:00 good job giants, i don’t really like you guys, and i think you are talked about too much, but you did play better. i don’t really remember the final score, so go look it up on espn if you care.


One Comment

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  1. this certainly seems like a normal mind-stream during a football game. But you forgot to include folding the laundry during commercials, making your grocery/errand list, thinking about how glad you are that you’re not married to a football player, and planning your next date night.

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